Well tomorrow will mark 21 years of spending my life with my best friend. The nice thing about roller coaster rides is they keep you young and full of life.   There are ups and downs plus the times that take your breath away. A few of you have asked so here Is my top ten list for hitting that 20 year and more mark.

1. Leave your spouse alone. What drew you to your spouse was their uniqueness. If you try to change them, then what you were attracted to in the first place gets lost in the shuffle.
2. So you’re right… Does it matter?   Which is more important peace or putting one over on your spouse? Proving you’re right may win the skirmish but the battle you’re losing is lifelong happiness and friendship with your spouse. Forgiveness after a skirmish is a good thing.
3. Take a nap. We all get tired and when you feel Mr. or Mrs. Cranky pants coming on just tick a lock and go take a nap.
4. Take your solutions to your spouse and problems to God.   Sometimes there are just things you can’t talk about. Doesn’t mean you have a bad marriage it’s just wiser to take some things to God. It’s much more fun to see a situation change after you’ve prayed about it rather than put pressure on your spouse. Pray for solutions… listen… then do what God says. You might be surprised at the results from just hearing from God on a situation without talking to your spouse.
5. Find out what makes your spouse feel accepted, affirmed, and appreciated.   It’s different for every person. Sometimes finding out is half of the fun as it changes over time.   My favorite thing to receive is something spontaneous that required a little thought and it doesn’t have to be expensive. Same thing with hubby he likes it when I’ve been paying attention and surprise him with something he’s talked about for this or that.
6. Alone time… The one thing that gamers have over the rest of us is the ability to have fun alone.   Give your spouse some alone time to play games, go shopping, hunting and fishing, hiking, running, biking etc. Find something that you can do alone that makes you happy, reduces stress and let your spouse do the same.   Just because you think it’s a waste of time doesn’t mean you’re right. (refer to #2 above)
7. Date Night.   Go out or stay in but have fun just the two of you. Sports games on the Wii can be fun and economical. Or bring home pizza and watch silly movies that make you laugh.   MST3K movies can be funny especially the older ones.   My favorite scene was when 2 Guys in Greek costumes rounded a corner and tapped their spears on the Ground. I think it was Crow who said “Pizza! Pizza!”   We laughed so hard.
8. Say “no” to others.   With everyone pulling everyone in different directions sometimes you just have to say “no” so the two of you can rest, relax, and refresh.
9. Be united:   Don’t let your kids or other family members divide you as a couple. Make a decision as a couple and stick with it.   Trying to be a best friend to your kids at your spouse’s expense probably isn’t the wisest decision as kids grow up and move away but your spouse is still there and may not be too happy with you. (refer to #3 above)
10. Probably the biggest and most important thing is to spend “God Time” together. Praying, reading the Bible, Devotions. Whatever you two can do to grow in God together.    Along with that thought is remember who you committed to on your marriage day.   You committed to God and your spouse. Having faith in God to help when you don’t know what to do is critical. It is much better to turn to God and unload than to unload on your spouse.     People say dumb and mean things when they are mad. Refuse to allow yourself hurtful words that can scar a person for life just for a moment of selfish pleasure. It doesn’t mean you are weak or a pushover if you walk away to pray. It just means you are turning over your situation to a higher authority who really does know all the answers for your situation.

© sgan2g2014cwp

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